A Month of Gratitude: Day 12

I am grateful for my friends.

Some of my friends I have had for a very long time. We may not see each other all that often -- hardly at all, in some cases -- but when we see each other or chat, it's just like old times.

Then I have some of my friends I've known just a short time. Still, sometimes it feels like we've know each other forever. It's great to make a new friend who really gets you -- or at least let's you be yourself around her.

I count myself extremely lucky to have a handful of friends who feel like family -- people who know they can call or text any time and I'll be there for them because I love them that much. While I am most grateful for those friends, I am thankful for all the folks in my life I call friends.

A Month of Gratitude

Halloween's behind us, and regardless of what the stores and television would have us believe, Christmas is still almost two months away. I won't go on about how commercialized Christmas has become. Charlie Brown bemoaned that fact 48 years ago, so it's not a new thing. And never mind that some retailers are starting "Black Friday" on Thanksgiving ("We're so thankful for all we have, we need to rush out and buy more!").

But I do think we sometimes forget Thanksgiving comes first, and it's kind of a big deal of a holiday. I firmly believe we should count our blessings daily. Sometimes we forget though, and a holiday all about being thankful for what we have is a good reminder.

In that spirit, I plan to fill my blog with a month of gratitude.

Today, I am expressing my thanks for the people in my life that make me feel needed and useful. They keep me grounded. I know I am loved.

Play date bounce time

Plus a review

 

My very good friend Lisa, over at Grandma's Briefs, recently invited Milo, me and a couple other friends to her house for a review of an indoor bounce house. That's right, an indoor (also outdoor, if you're into that kind of thing) bounce house. Seems Lisa has this whole blogging thing down and actually gets real-live products from real-live companies like One Step Ahead to review (and give away!).

Milo had a great time in the Bounce-A-Round inflatable jumper. He wasn't too sure about it at first when it was just him and the grown ups. He tentatively checked it out but he was definitely more interested in munching the animal crackers Lisa set out for a snack. But once his buddy, Caden (who is a couple years older than Milo) showed up, Milo was ready to dive in and had such fun.

As Lisa points out in her full review (which you can read here), there were a few things we might like to change, like adding a flap or some sort of door and including a cover so you can create a fort. But all in all, the bounce house was a success and hanging out with an older kid was very cool for Milo.

Head over to Grandma's Briefs to read the review and enter to win your own bouncy house from One Step Ahead. (Even though I want to win it myself, I'm giving you the link because Lisa is so awesome and more people should visit her blog.)

That's what friends are for

I count myself lucky to be able to say I have had many true friends in my life. I have had more than my share of good friends -- the kinds of friends who are always there for you; the kind that you can go months (even years) without talking and see them and pick up right where you left off; friends who don't judge me; friends who laugh at my bad jokes, hold my hand through bad times and help me celebrate the good times.

I have friends I have known for longer than I'd care to admit and love like family. I have newer friends who have been through some rough times with me (and I also love like family). And I have a few brand new friends who have quickly become very near and dear to my heart.

I have a tendency to be protective of my friends. It doesn't matter if they're younger or older than I am, I turn into a mother hen. I often end up trying to take care of my friends. I'm not always good at it, but I want to -- even if that protection isn't always welcome. Funny how some people don't want me to mother hen them. Go figure.

I hope I can teach by example and show Milo what it means to be a friend. I hope he is blessed with the quality of friends I have been blessed with, if not the quantity. I count myself lucky to have had even one true friend.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
--  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ho ho ho!

Santa made an early visit to Milo last night. He brought along the Mrs. and one of his elves.

Milo wasn't quite sure what to make of the big man (or his friends) but he took it in stride. I think he might even have whispered his Christmas list to Santa while I wasn't looking.

Food Tidings

Did I tell you about this site? My awesome friend Heather set up a schedule -- with the help of some other awesome friends -- to bring me and the S.O. meals three days a week.

Way back when -- before Milo was born -- I reposted a list of ways to assist new parents. Because I refused to give my underpants size, friends decided to help out by bringing food. And it has been awesome. Most days, there has been more than enough for at least a couple meals. And everything has been so tasty, leftovers are great.

Not only does having food brought in save us the trouble of cooking, it saves us from having to decide what to fix or pick up for dinner. I had no idea how exhausting decision making could be (not as exhausting as breastfeeding, but close).

I am so grateful to all my friends who have (or will) pitch in to take care of the S.O. and me so we can concentrate on taking care of Milo. I highly recommend this site and this idea for any new parent (or anyone who is convalescing).

Assistance*

My friend Kate sent me a link to a great post over at Gloria LeMay Birth Blog. It's called "After the birth, what a family needs." It contains a really good list of ideas for helping out a family with a newborn (hint, hint):

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).

3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.

4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.

5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”

7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.

8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.

9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

I'm definitely not one to ask for help -- even though I know I'll need it. So if you're one of my local friends, you can take this post as a call for assistance. Although, No. 8 is not applicable to me, it's a good tip for other families.

No matter how helpful it may, I'm definitely not going to tell you my underpants size.

*Assistance - help; aid; support

Family*

My family lives thousands of miles away. We keep in touch by phone, Facebook and Skype. The S.O.'s family lives minutes away and, for various reasons I'll not go into, don't keep in touch at all.

My family has sent gifts for Baby. They have called and emailed to see how I am doing. In spite of the miles and some of them having their own health issues at the moment, they check in on me and Baby. The S.O.'s family has barely acknowledged our -- let alone Baby's -- existence. It's a sad state of affairs.

On the plus side, we have many wonderful friends close by who have offered help and advice, showered us with gifts, fixed us dinner and let it be known that Baby will have plenty of "aunties," "uncles" and "cousins" here in town.

Your humble blogger and her family--many, many years ago

I will do everything I can to make sure Baby knows his real aunts, uncles, cousins and grandpa back east, whether over Skype or through pictures (I have already created a family photo album for him) or actual in-person visits.

Still, it's nice to know we have people near us who will gladly step in to be Baby's family by proxy.

As he grows, I want Baby to learn that sometimes blood isn't necessarily thicker than water, and family -- like home -- is where the heart is.


*Family - a. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not; b. a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for

Does this make me grown up?

Yesterday, I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in months. It was the first time he's gotten to see the bump. (Which, by the way is fast leaving "bump" status. Photos coming soon.) My ever-expanding waistline elicited a "Wow" from my friend, who is used to seeing me as the ass-kicking workout queen I was when I got pregnant.

I asked him about work and his family, and we talked about my pregnancy. I've known this guy since he was 19 (he's several years younger than I am) and feel like I've seen him grow up. In the 10-plus years we've been friends, he has gone from a bit of a slacker to a businessman, husband and father.

Friends forever -- even if we have to grow up

"It's really strange that you're having a kid," he said to me. "It's like you're finally grown up."

I laugh at that because, as I said, he's much younger than I am -- about 14 years, but we've never really thought about our age difference. Maybe because he has done the grown-up things like pursuing his career, getting married, raising a baby. While I've been a laid-off, part-time blogger, starting over and just now pregnant.

I laugh, too, because it is strange that I'm having a kid. I certainly don't feel old enough to be a mom -- despite the medical community calling me "OLD" -- and I sometimes wonder if I am grown up enough to handle all the responsibility.

Then again, maybe my (mostly) youthful attitude will help me be a better mom. And I know I have the greatest friends who will berate help me to keep on track.