Happy birthday, my wonderful boy! It's hard to believe you joined our world just two years ago. My, how the time has flown.
Sometimes the world is a scary ugly place (like the incident at the Boston Marathon), but when I look at you, life makes sense. You make everything better. I never knew I could love someone with such intensity and selflessness. In fact, I never knew I could be selfless at all. But I would give you anything I have to give.
You are smart and cute and you have an amazing sense of humor for such a small person. You make me laugh all the time. Over the past two years, I have written you monthly letters to mark your milestones. Looking back through those letters and all the photos I have taken, I am so proud of you. I'm so proud to be your mom.
Swinging with Dada at The Little Gym
We threw you a big party at The Little Gym, with lots of kids and grown ups. Everyone had a good time. Your Aunt D came from Kansas to spend time with you, and you learned to call her DeeDee instead of "uncle." You should off your letter-reading skills and let her spoil you rotten. You got lots of great presents and had some yummy cake. But I don't think birthdays mean a whole lot to you yet. You're just happy to have lots of toys to play with and new books to read. All the great clothes Aunt DeeDee got you mean more to me -- you won't have to go naked this summer.
My first glimpse of you
I often feel like the day you were born was the day my real life started, like everything before that was just practice. I spent a lot of years not knowing I wanted you. Now that you're here, I can't imagine life without you.
We have a lot of adventures to take together. I look forward to them all. Happy birthday, Milo. I love you more than words can ever express.
When I was a young man I did some foolish things. One thing I remember is dumping an aquarium in the living room. It had a frog and some fish and a lot of water. I remember using our house vacuum to suck up the fish, frog and water. Luckily I didn't fry myself or my brother. That memory set me on a quest to find that vacuum. Searching the Internet I saw that it was made by a company called Tristar and it was expensive. The vacuum was well built, and the company is still around.
I am not nostalgic enough to go and buy one now for myself but it made me appreciate my parents. Although I remember dumping the aquarium I don't remember being punished for both destroying the expensive vacuum and killing the fish. My parents were only concerned that my brother and I were OK.
On my boy's 2nd birthday, that is all I care about; his well being. Most things are just things, only possessions that can be replaced. Things can be bought and bought, and I expect things to be ruined. Accidents happen, but I will keep him safe. And I'll probably buy my mom an expensive vacuum.
It always seems to happen around my birthday, something to remind me I am getting older. This year it was popping a rib during a deep breath. It eventually got mostly back into place, but during the visits to the doctor my blood pressure was much higher than usual. I usually have borderline high blood pressure. Somewhere near 125/85 is my average. But during that time, it was 150/110. Besides being a bit upset with my doctor for saying these things just happen, I was really worried.
I feel the aches and pains of getting older. I get hurt, and things heal just a little slower. I know it's nothing different than anybody else but I get more worried.
My dad passed away at 52. He was what would be considered a train wreck of problems: heart and lung problems, diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, chronic infections, amputations. I think that covers it. It's a laundry list of things. Most of those I think I can avoid because I don't smoke and try to keep in shape but I still worry what's in store for myself and Milo.
I definitely worry about passing on something genetic. I hope the boy doesn't end up with the high blood pressure or the arthritis. I also really want to be around to see him grow up. If something were to happen when I'm 52, he'd only be 17. I don't want him losing his dad or being trapped by trying to be around to help his sick dad.