40-something, schmorty-something

As a 40-something mom of a 2-year-old, I sometimes worry that people will think I'm Milo's grandma. Some days are definitely better than others. I know it's vanity that makes me want to look younger than my 40-something years, but something deeper than vanity makes me want to feel younger.

Backyard bubbles

I suppose every mother worries about not being around for her child -- heck, I'm sure fathers feel that too -- but when you start out later than lots of other moms, you probably worry more. My family has mixed results when it comes to longevity. My paternal grandpa lived to be 98. My paternal grandma was in her mid-80s, having fought Parkinson's disease for many, many years. My mother's parents were both in their 70s, and Mom was just 70 when we lost her.

Active Mom does active stuff (at Milo's birthday party).

I try really hard to eat right (ish) and exercise on a regular basis. All with the hopes of living long enough to see grandchildren one day. Yes, I know he's only 2 and I don't want him to be a teenage father. So, I'll have to live well into my 90s to get the most out of grandparenthood. And I'll need to keep active so my grandkids don't remember me as tottering (or worse, invalid) old Grandma Pammeey. I also want Milo to remember his childhood as active, with a youthful-seeming mom.

It would be great to look like a 30-something mom, but the more important objective for me is to act and feel like a much younger person. Lucky for me, my high-energy toddler keeps me active, and I have a really good gym membership. And, in 30 or so years, I hope I can be an active granny too.

Week of Gratitude: Thanksgiving Day

I am grateful for my wonderful Aunt Dianna. I'm also thankful my family and I get to spend this holiday with her. While no one can ever replace my mom -- or replace Milo's grandma -- Aunt D is as generous and kind as her older sister and reminds me so much of Mom. My aunt and I lost touch for a while but have seen a lot of each other since Milo was born. And for that, I am especially thankful.

Aunt D holding baby me

Aunt D holding Baby Milo

I wasn't as grateful as a baby as Milo was. Check out that smile for his Auntie!

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Play date bounce time

Plus a review

 

My very good friend Lisa, over at Grandma's Briefs, recently invited Milo, me and a couple other friends to her house for a review of an indoor bounce house. That's right, an indoor (also outdoor, if you're into that kind of thing) bounce house. Seems Lisa has this whole blogging thing down and actually gets real-live products from real-live companies like One Step Ahead to review (and give away!).

Milo had a great time in the Bounce-A-Round inflatable jumper. He wasn't too sure about it at first when it was just him and the grown ups. He tentatively checked it out but he was definitely more interested in munching the animal crackers Lisa set out for a snack. But once his buddy, Caden (who is a couple years older than Milo) showed up, Milo was ready to dive in and had such fun.

As Lisa points out in her full review (which you can read here), there were a few things we might like to change, like adding a flap or some sort of door and including a cover so you can create a fort. But all in all, the bounce house was a success and hanging out with an older kid was very cool for Milo.

Head over to Grandma's Briefs to read the review and enter to win your own bouncy house from One Step Ahead. (Even though I want to win it myself, I'm giving you the link because Lisa is so awesome and more people should visit her blog.)

Wordy Wednesday

(I noticed my "typo" on the sign a few minutes after dropping Grandpa's birthday card and this photo into the mailbox. So much for my years of editing and proofreading. But hey, it's still awfully damn cute. Right?)

Milo and Grandma Louise

Milo never met his Grandma Louise (my mom) but that doesn't stop him from loving her.

Shortly after we got to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving, Milo saw a picture of Grandma. He immediately started smiling. And every time someone holding him would walk near it, he smiled. He even reached for it.

I'm usually quite skeptical and only sort of sappy, but I think Milo knows his grandma looks out for him somehow.

Grandparents Day

Milo's been sick this week but he found time to send his Grandpa a combined Grandparents Day/birthday card (Grandparents Day is Sept. 11 and Grandpa's birthday is Sept. 12). We also sent this photo to Grandpa. Grandpa doesn't see Milo very often so he misses out on the cute.

Happy Grandparents Day to the grannies and grampas out there!

100 Days Redux - Korean Style

For his 100th Day Celebration -- or Baek-Il -- Milo's Korean grandmother brought him a traditional outfit.

I don't think the "My Mom Rocks" pacifier is traditional.

He is supposed to wear this outfit again on his first birthday.

She also brought Korean rice cakes and black bean cakes.

Yum!

Too cute!

Family visit

Milo, his daddy and I are away from home this week, visiting family. Milo got to meet his uncles, two of his boy cousins and his grandpa. It's been quite an adventure for Milo (meaning we've totally thrown off his eating and sleeping schedule).

My sister-in-law wasn't able to join my brother on this visit, but she sent gifts with him. Milo got some onesies, a sippy cup and a new pacifier. He also got a very nice cross-stitch.

I was appreciating the details and the hard work, when the S.O. noticed an envelope on the back of the frame. He pulled out a letter, read it, then handed it to me. Here's what it said:

Milo,
Your grandma made this cross-stitch before she passed away. I found it in her craft room and thought there must have been a reason that she had this all done. The only thing we needed to do was stitch the name in it. She had it all framed and left complete directions on how to finish it. So I like to think dhe had it all ready and waiting just for you. I think she knew she had one more grandchild to come and she wanted to leave something just for you. Your grandma was one of the sweetest, most loving ladies I ever knew. She loved being a mom and a grandma. Her family meant everything to her. I believe she is looking down and watching over you. We all have our own personal angel keeping an eye on us. If you ever have questions about your grandma, ask any of us. We all have so many nice things to tell you about her.

My family members all read the letter and either had chills or tears in their eyes (as did I). I'll never really know the motivation behind this piece of handiwork, but I like to think my sister-in-law is right and Mom knew there would be another grandson. Either way, Milo has a beautiful keepsake made my his grandma.

It's true he won't get to spend time with his grandma, but thanks to her legacy, he will certainly know her.

Ancestry*

While the S.O. is half Korean, he also has Native American blood and English blood coursing through his veins. My lineage is mostly English, with some French and a decent helping of Irish. My maternal great-grandpa was born in County Kildare, Ireland (according to family and information I can find at Ancestry.com).

Our baby will be quite the little mutt. And I say that with all the love in the world for mutts.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

*Ancestry - family or ancestral descent; lineage

Slumber*

Grandpa ordered a crib for Baby from Babies'R'Us and had it sent to us .

Even though the woman at the store told him we weren't on the registry, we ended up with the exact crib we wanted. And when I checked the registry, it showed as "purchased." Dad mentioned that the salesperson was pregnant, so baby brain must have been doing a number on her.

Regardless, the crib is lovely. And the best part is it converts to a toddler bed, a day bed and a full bed, so it can grow as Baby grows.

And don't worry. We won't make baby sleep in it as is. We'll have the mattress soon.

*Slumber - to sleep

Presents

As a follow up to my post about my Most Amazing Sister-in-Law, here are the gifts she sent -- items handmade by my mom for my Most Amazing Nephew.

Two dolls and two baby blankets

Close up detail of the baby blanket

More detail

Close up of the hand-crocheted afghan

I am so happy to have these items from my mom to share with her grandson. Even though he'll never get to meet her, I will make sure he knows how special she was. And he'll know what a great influence she was on my family.

Most-Amazing Sister-in-law

See this lady here?

I am naming her Most-Amazing Sister-in-law. Yesterday, she sent me a message, telling me she had I talked to talked to my brother and my nephew and asked if they would mind giving me a few of the baby items my mom made for my nephew. My sister-in-law has kept everything Grandma made him. She says, "I still have lots of other things she made him which I could never part with. I just think it might be important to you to have something from your mom."

Now, I know pregnancy hormones can send emotions all over the place, but this message made me cry -- in a very good way. I am so touched that this very sentimental woman -- who loved my mom almost as much as if she were her own mother -- would be willing to part with a few hand-made baby items so that my son could have something handmade by his grandmother.

My little boy will never get to meet his Grandma Louise in person, but thanks to Most-Amazing Aunt, he will be able to have a little piece of her with him. I don't think words can truly express how grateful I am to her -- and to my brother and nephew -- for this incredible act of kindness.

I am most amazed.

When racism rears its ugly head and that ugly head is called Grandpa

My father is a bigot -- always has been, always will be. And even though I hate it, there's not a whole lot I can say or do at this point in his life to change him. He's 74 and set in his ways. There was never anything I could say or do to change him, but that doesn't stop me from cringing when he makes a racial slur.

In case you can't tell from his photographs, the S.O. is mixed race. He is half Korean. He also has some Native American blood running through his veins. My heritage is mostly Irish and English with a bit of German and French thrown in for flavor -- but, you know, basically lily white.

My dad has accepted my choice in partner and has never said anything to me about being with a Korean man. But it also hasn't stopped him from using offensive language when talking about other people of Asian descent.

Recently, Dad shared the news that two of my cousins are also expecting babies. An older male cousin recently married a woman from Guatemala, and she is pregnant. More scandalous (to the family, not to me) is the female cousin who is pregnant -- out of wedlock -- by a black man. (I'll wait while you fan yourself on your fainting couch.)

Dad went on to say something to the effect that a half-Guatemalan baby and a half-Korean baby (never mind that our baby will only be a quarter Korean) is better than a half-black baby. Except, of course, he didn't use the word "black." Backhandedly implying that none of them are as good as white babies.

The bigotry is ugly. I hate it. And if one of my friends was to say what he said I would have called her on it. But, as I said, I have tried over the years to change Dad, and nothing's worked. So I say nothing and hope my silence says I disapprove. Not that he cares.

Dad doesn't live nearby so my child won't be constantly exposed to his racism. Still, I hope that when Dad does see my kid, he can rein in some of that ugliness. Because I also hope that Dad is around long enough for my kid to get to know Grandpa ... without having to know that side of him.

Wishful thinking.

I wish ...

The other night, as I walked through my local Barnes & Noble, I saw this "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" book. It is a Record-A-Story book.*

From the Web site: "Children will delight in the sound of a loved one's voice when they open this book. A recordable dedication page lets them know this is a story just for them. Each time they turn the page, Christmas music plays, and they hear the familiar voice of a loved one reading the classic holiday story."

Because I was technically working -- my job for the Children's Literacy Center takes place in the bookstore -- I wasn't really supposed to be shopping and don't normally when working. But this book stopped me in my tracks, and I had to pick it up and look at it.

I wish I had had this book three years ago. I wish I could have had my mom read this book for my as-yet-unexpected child. I know there are other ways for me to teach my child about his or her grandmother, but I wish I had something like this so "Grandma Weezy" could read a story to my baby.

I think a book like this is a wonderful way for a distant grandparent or aunt, uncle, parent (absent for whatever reason) to share time with a loved child.

And yes, I was almost crying right in the middle of the stupid Barnes & Noble. And yes, I'm almost crying right now as I type this.


*Other books in this vein include "Guess How Much I Miss You" and "Elmo Together at Heart."