Thursday, October 14, 2010

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby

I saw the doctor today for my 12-week appointment. I'm guessing these monthly appointments will normally be pretty uneventful: Sit around in the waiting room, get weighed, pee in a cup, have my blood pressure taken, sit around in the exam room, see the doctor for about two minutes.

Today, though, was the first day we got to hear the Nubbin's heart beat on the little in-office hand-held dealy. First we heard the slow, steady thump, thump of my heartbeat, then slightly to the left of my blood vessel, we heard the quick whoosh, whoosh, whoosh of Nubbin's heart. The little bugger even moved around a bit, making a sloshing sound. Apparently, Nubbin moves around quite a bit but is too small for me to feel.

For some reason, this was way more emotional to me than seeing Nubbin on the ultrasound. Maybe because it's the first time the doctor has heard the heartbeat. Maybe because the heartbeat is still strong at 12 weeks.

I've been feeling a bit blue for the past few days and, despite, Yoga Mama trying to make me feel more connected to the baby growing inside me, I actually felt really disconnected -- from the baby and from the world in general. But hearing that little whoosh, whoosh, whoosh has improved my mood and made me realize, this whole pregnancy thing is kind of a big deal. I'm going to be a mom. That's probably the scariest stuff right there.


  1. That's the best/scariest feeling. Congratulations again. I'm so, so happy for you.

  2. That's so great. And I have no worries. Even if you're scared, you're going to be an awesome mom. No one can stop you from it. I know. You could take me in a fight.

  3. It is a big deal, and a scary deal, and the best deal of your life. And one you'll continually question. But that whoosh, whoosh, whoosh is the sound of pure, unconditional love. It makes the disconnect worth it.