Tuesday True Confessions

I have admitted before that I watch TV while breastfeeding Milo. And that is supposedly a No-No, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

In the February issue of "BabyTalk," there's a guide to the first 100 days of your baby's life. Once again, I'm told not to watch TV while feeding my baby.

"During those early weeks, you'll likely be feeding six to eight times a day whether by breast or bottle. Don't be tempted to fill it by streaming a season's worth of Glee or texting your BFF. Christine Wood M.D., a pediatrician and certified lactation educator from Encinitas, California, urges parents to take advantage of feeding time to bond with their babies."

The article goes on to quote a mother who says, "I realized I was the luckiest person in the family because I was the one who got to spend the most one-on-one time with him, gazing into his eyes."

Let me get this straight, the article tells me I'll feed my newborn six to eight times a day. In reality, Milo ate every two hours. So ... 12 times a day, multiplied by 20 to 45 minutes for each feeding ... doing the math ... I was supposed to spend upwards of nine hours a day "gazing into his eyes"? When his eyes were closed 90 percent of the time (at least).

Unfortunately, I don't remember where I saw this, but I have read that looking directly into your baby's eyes during those middle of the night feedings is akin to giving him a jolt of caffeine, conflicting with the above advice.

I know this is just one more way to pile on the Mommy Guilt. I'll freely admit I have a TV addiction. And yes, I worry that Milo gets too much (he points his toy remote at the TV and presses buttons). But I also know that I spend lots of time playing with him, reading to him, cuddling him and bonding with him. I think the simple act of breastfeeding is the greatest bonding act I could perform. It's kind of hard not to bond when another human is literally attached to you.

I don't watch as much TV while breastfeeding now because Milo is more attuned to it. (Buffy theme song?! Let me see!) But when he drifts off for a nap, you better believe I'm streaming reruns.

It's hard not to gaze into those eyes. But nine hours a day? Please.

Daddy Talk

Note: As a new feature, I'm asking Milo's Daddy (also known here as "the S.O.") to take over the blog one day a week to share his musings, boasts, worries and other thoughts on parenthood. So, without further ado, I give you Daddy Talk.

I never realized how special it is being a parent. Sitting in a car with the boy sleeping while Pam is inside World Market, shopping for something. And I am just happy.

I don't dread him waking up or not being able to get something done later. I am just happy existing. Just happy at the chance to be his dad and experience this peaceful moment. He is a great kid even when he's not being such a great kid.

Playtime with Daddy

It's odd how much I didn't expect to change then how much I welcomed it -- whatever the change was/is. I surely am more accepting of picking up soggy Cherrios and stepping in spots of random drool than I ever thought I could be. Things just happen and it's not so bad. I kind of miss the really poopy diapers at 2 a.m. and the clingy baby. The good part now is that when he gets clingy the grip is so much stronger but the crying is so much stronger too.

Now, given, it hasn't been all sunshine and flowers.  I think that I still need to work on the whole baby doesn't know he's irritating you part. He just really wants his mama or to not be in his crib in the middle of the afternoon or something else babies want. I have on occasion asked the boy wtf in elevated tones and not gotten the response I would like. I have found that he responds much better to sarcasm though.  It's just making sure that I get the sarcasm going before the yelling at a baby part that I am really working on.

I always wanted to be that perfect dad that never raised his voice and calmly worked his way through it all. I haven't quite achieved that yet. Mostly I don't want to do things the way my mom did.

True mommy confessions

I did something today I said I wouldn't do.

Remember a while back when we were told kids younger than 2 shouldn't be watching TV? Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure the experts who determined this weren't sleep-deprived mothers who haven't showered in two days, home alone with a 7-month-old.

I sat Milo in his play yard with Sesame Street on the television while I took a shower. I know. I just lost my Mother of the Year nomination. The thing is, whether Milo is in his crib or a playpen and whether or not the TV is on, he's going to cry for me. I have a hard time believing my baby's development is going to be severely hampered by my attempt to distract him for five minutes.

And here's why. Sesame Street did not distract him from the fact that I left him in a play yard.

Nor did it keep him from figuring out to pull himself up into a standing position. I'm pretty sure he wasn't paying any attention to Elmo.

True confessions?

I recently took a survey for a parent magazine/Web site. Part of the survey was "true mommy confessions." Among the list of horrible things I could confess to was watching TV while breastfeeding (using a computer or smart phone while breastfeeding was also there).

So, yes, I must confess to watching TV while breastfeeding. A lot. Milo is nursing practically every two hours. All. Day. Long. Am I really supposed to spend all that time gazing lovingly at my child? True true confession: I spend a lot of time gazing lovingly at my child, but I cannot spend all my waking hours doing that.

"But why not, Mommy?"

I've tried reading while breastfeeding, but it's not all that easy to hang on to a sometimes squirmy 2-month-old and a book -- and turn pages.

I've tried listening to audio books. That works OK most of the time, until I start to fall asleep. Audio books are great when I'm doing chores or exercising. But they can be too soothing when just sitting still.

What am I supposed to do during Milo's feedings? Contemplate what a wonderful mother I am for breastfeeding? Bask in the glow of my womanhood? Fret over all the other things I'm not getting done, like completing the nursery, working out, fixing dinner? How much time can I spend thinking about those things? (Even when not breastfeeding, I have a hard time thinking about those things for very long.)

So, I confess. And if watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Clean House" on Netflix while I breastfeed makes me a bad mother -- you know, as opposed to a mother who neglects or abuses her child -- so be it.