Monday, February 13, 2012

Damned if you do

Being a mommy (or daddy) is hard work. Making it even harder is the seemingly never-ending judgment we face. It seems like no matter what we do, someone is going to tell us we're doing it wrong.

And every time some new study comes out, I worry that I've ruined my baby for life. The latest study (I've read) "suggests babies might get health benefits from skipping spoon-fed purées, and going straight to feeding themselves with finger foods."

Among those benefits is that the self-fed babies "may be more accustomed to a range of healthy, nutritious foods that are intact, instead of masked as purées, which could influence their preferences."

Milo eats both purées and finger foods. And I don't force him to eat more than he wants (as the study suggests regarding spoon-fed babies). He lets me know when he doesn't want more food.

And he'll feed himself if he wants to!
 The worst part of this story (besides my worry that I've ruined my baby) are the comments on Facebook for this story. (Interestingly, the comments [so far] at are not as judgmental.) Why are mommies so Us vs Them when it comes to raising our children? Breast vs bottle, cloth vs disposable, stay-at-home vs working outside the home, spoon-fed vs self-led.

So, not only are parents (especially moms) being told we might be doing it wrong by the so-called experts, we're telling each other we're doing it wrong.

I'll admit I some times judge other moms (especially the ones who've already lost all their baby weight!) but I try really hard to keep it to myself. And I certainly don't get (nearly) fanatical on Web sites. Unless parents are purposefully harming or neglecting their child, they're probably doing the best they can.

Being a parent a tough job. We shouldn't make it tougher on ourselves and each other.


  1. I think it's because The Mean Girl still reigns. She becomes The Mean Woman and wants to tell everyone HER way is best. Mommyhood is very much like high school. Just do what works for you and ignore those who try to pressure you to do what they think you should. Just Say No!

  2. Okay you have not ruined your child by giving him pureed food. That is how I fed Wyatt and other than peas he happily eats all vegetables. He especially likes Carrots and Broccoli. We spoon fed him until we got to the point that he was taking the spoon away from us. So I say just do what you feel is the right way to do things and ignore the comments about you doing it wrong.

  3. Yay Mommy Wars! I'm right and everyone else is wrong!

    I think Lisa hit it on the head: The Mean Girls have become mommies and still want to make everyone else feel bad about themselves. And just like in high school, it's our job to ignore them.