Damned if you do

Being a mommy (or daddy) is hard work. Making it even harder is the seemingly never-ending judgment we face. It seems like no matter what we do, someone is going to tell us we're doing it wrong.

And every time some new study comes out, I worry that I've ruined my baby for life. The latest study (I've read) "suggests babies might get health benefits from skipping spoon-fed purées, and going straight to feeding themselves with finger foods."

Among those benefits is that the self-fed babies "may be more accustomed to a range of healthy, nutritious foods that are intact, instead of masked as purées, which could influence their preferences."

Milo eats both purées and finger foods. And I don't force him to eat more than he wants (as the study suggests regarding spoon-fed babies). He lets me know when he doesn't want more food.

And he'll feed himself if he wants to!

 The worst part of this story (besides my worry that I've ruined my baby) are the comments on Facebook for this story. (Interestingly, the comments [so far] at Parents.com are not as judgmental.) Why are mommies so Us vs Them when it comes to raising our children? Breast vs bottle, cloth vs disposable, stay-at-home vs working outside the home, spoon-fed vs self-led.

So, not only are parents (especially moms) being told we might be doing it wrong by the so-called experts, we're telling each other we're doing it wrong.

I'll admit I some times judge other moms (especially the ones who've already lost all their baby weight!) but I try really hard to keep it to myself. And I certainly don't get (nearly) fanatical on Web sites. Unless parents are purposefully harming or neglecting their child, they're probably doing the best they can.

Being a parent a tough job. We shouldn't make it tougher on ourselves and each other.