Two months old

Dear Milo,

This past month has been just as exciting and exhausting as the previous month. It's also been filled with lots of laughter and smiles.

And a few tears.

In fact, although it breaks my heart when you cry, it was exciting to see actual tears in your eyes for the first time. (I'm sure it will be less and less exciting as time passes.)

You're changing constantly. You've already outgrown some of your 0-3 month onesies and are started to wear some 3-6 month clothes. I knew things would happen quickly but I'm still amazed.

Among the recent changes, you've discovered that your hands are quite chewable.

 

We're keeping your mittens off more and more because you do chew on your hands and because you're not flailing around so much and scratching yourself. You have more control over your limbs. You're pushing with your legs. I know you won't be standing for a while, but you sure seem to be giving it the old college try.

You grab my fingers and hold on more often now and you really pay attention to rattles and other toys we shake at you. 

We have been taking walks together almost daily. Some days you love it. Some days -- especially windy days -- you grunt and fuss for most of the walk and don't seem to thrilled with being confined to your Baby Bjorn. However, you don't allow me much time for other exercise at the moment, so I'm doing what I can to try to get back in shape. I know when you start crawling and walking, I will need to be fit to keep up.
 

You're sleeping a little longer during the night -- at least for the first part of the night -- but less during the day, when you demand more attention from both me and Daddy. And you're eating almost every two hours from sunrise to bedtime. I have to tell you, kid, you're wearing me out. Still, I wouldn't trade this time for anything. 

I find myself staring at you while you sleep and sometimes I wonder if I'm dreaming. I am amazed that I made you. I often stop Daddy, point to you and say, "We did that."

We don't see your doctor until next week, so I don't know exactly how much you've grown, but I'm sure it's a lot. You're my little weed.

And your smile is infectious.

I love you more and more with each passing day. You're crying more tears -- as you seem to be ever hungry -- but I'm crying fewer and fewer as I settle into the exhausting, exhilarating and mind-bogglingly joyful job of motherhood. You are my sunshine, Milo. I love you.

Love,

Mommy

One month old

Dear Milo,

Wow! Has this been a crazy month or what? You went from being in Mommy's tummy to becoming an actual person at the center of our little universe. You took your sweet time joining us in the world (although the doctor said that might actually be due to the shape of Mommy's pelvis), and I have spent the past four weeks recovering from your arrival.

Milo, just a few minutes old

Your daddy and I have done a lot of adjusting, getting used to just having you around and figuring out your ever-changing feeding schedule. We've done loads and loads of laundry, as you overflow with bodily functions. We're learning how to get around with a baby -- boy, do you need a lot of stuff just to run to the store! And we're learning to go back to sleep despite all the little grunts and gurgles you make as you drift off.

I'm not going to say it's been an easy month. There have been a lot of ups and downs, including a few Mommy meltdowns. You can be quite the demanding little fellow when you're hungry and you really don't care what else is going on or how long it's been since you last ate. And I can be quite the weepy Mommy when I'm sore and sleep deprived.

Milo at four weeks

There have been plenty of tears of frustration, but when I look at you sleeping or having tummy time or even when you're trying to squirm away from us as we change your diaper, I am amazed by how much laughter you bring to our lives.

Thoughts of the aches and pains of pregnancy and childbirth, the late night feedings, the extra money spent on diapers and laundry fly out the window when make your funny faces, when you coo as I nurse you and as you drift off to sleep as I hold you.

I've said it before -- and I will say it many times in the months and years to come -- I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. The morning sickness, the weight gain, the months of getting kicked in the ribs, heck, even the back labor are all totally worth it when I look at your sweet little face. You've stolen my heart little man.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. Today is Daddy's birthday, so be extra nice to him. OK?

A letter to Baby

Dear Little Alien,

While I really love feeling you wiggle and squirm around, when it's not yet light out, could you possibly confine the movements to more of a slow waltz rather than the Jitterbug? Mommy would really appreciate it. You'll have my full attention soon enough, Baby. A little extra sleep right now would do Mommy a world of good. Save it for when Daddy can enjoy it too.

See you soon!

Love,
Your mommy-to-be

My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,
        I think if you check your list (Go ahead. Check it again. I know you like to do that.) you'll find I've been nice this year.
        So, for Christmas, I want:

• Peace and ease for my loved ones who are dealing with conflict
• Health and comfort for friends who are sick and/or in pain
• Joy for those who despair

       And could you please deliver my love to all my friends and family far and wide?
       For myself -- besides the usual request for a convertible Mustang and various other frivolous trinkets -- please bring me a healthy son come April. Yes, I know April is more the realm of your long-eared, cotton-tail friend, but I'm pretty sure you can put in a good word for me.
        Merry Christmas, Santa!

Love, Pammeey

(the 40-Something First Timer)