21 months

Dear Milo,

What the what. How did you get to be 21 months old? No really. So much of the past 21 months has been a blur. I'm already starting to think about your second birthday party.

This last month has been especially crazy. You have made such advances in your behavior and your language skills. And you have such a cute and funny personality.

You've suddenly become quite social with other kids. You play really well with other little boys. Today, at the grocery store you wanted to climb out of the cart to go play with another boy about your age. He tried to climb out too. His mommy and I had to strap you boys down. It was very cute.

You finally got to play later today with one of your friends from The Little Gym, and the two of you had a laugh riot playing together. You got a shiny new haircut during our play date today too. Afterwards, you were standing across the room. I called to you to get a better look at your hair. You turned toward me, and, with your new haircut, you suddenly looked a lot like your Uncle Jim when he was little.

Uncle Jim and Uncle Joe

Unfortunately, you were wore out from playing all afternoon and didn't want to pose for a good picture. But I am seeing a lot more of me and my family features in your little face. It's pretty cool and you're still really cute. So it's OK for you to look like anybody. As long as you're still you.

Can you see the resemblance?

Our second Christmas together was a ton of fun. You really got into opening presents. You really liked your new Meowsic kitty keyboard and your wooden train set.

The train was more fun out of the box.

You had your first (and hopefully not last) white Christmas. You love the snow and still want to play in the dirty piles that linger for a long time around here. (I don't let you!)

Trying to make a snow angel on Christmas Day

You've started mimicking words and sounds more and more so I've told Daddy he needs to work on cleaning up his language. One of our favorite games right now is what does the animal say. I ask, "What does the monkey say?" And you answer, "Oh oh ah." I ask, "What does the dinosaur say?" and you reply, "Rawr!" You have a pretty large repertoire now, including chicken, dog, cat, elephant and train conductor. It's awesome. And so are you.

Every day, even when I'm exhausted, even when I'm frustrated because you're frustrated, even when you don't do exactly what I ask of you, you make me laugh and smile. You make me proud to be your mom. You make me so happy.

I love you, baby. (Even if you aren't a baby any more.)

Love,
Mama

Daddy Talk: Plans and procrastination

Ambition without direction is nothing, or at least it has been that way with me. I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life for the last since forever. I jump from self-help thing to self-help thing but pretty much half ass it because I really can't dedicate my time indefinitely. I think I figure if I get the right one I get to be rich, right? 

I was reviewing what I have done to this point in my life, one thing that bubbles up is not really sticking to things as much as I would like. I do a lot of things but master none. That's all things not Milo. When I look at him I have at least an 18-year plan for the little guy. He has college money coming, we will move to the good side of town for his education, I have plans for his first car -- all sorts of plans for the guy that I move forward on. I am not sure what the difference is with planning for him and planning for myself. With him, I just do. Mostly.

I look at my life and think that I have time to get my things accomplished but when I look at my son I know that to hit those milestones, I have to be prepared. I don't know why it doesn't work so much the other way. I know that my parents didn't really plan things out for me. Any choices they made seemed to mostly go with the flow, as it were. They just dealt with things as they came. I know that it left a lot up to me, and I really didn't handle it well. Even though they pushed me to get good grades they didn't help prepare me for what happened after the good grades.

I want to give Milo that and more. So much more.

Daddy Talk: New Year

New Year and new things. Everyday I look forward to waking up and seeing what that kid does. He jumps by leaps and bounds, sometimes it's nothing, sometimes so much. It's funny how I don't notice things unless I look back on pictures and try to remember that this little guy was once so little and wasn't as accomplished as he is today. I look back on pictures from last Christmas and see how much he changed over this last year and I'm astonished. Everyday he changes and I lose track of how different he is from day to day.

It's exciting to see the changes, mostly I look forward to what happens to us next. I really look forward to the new things he will do. It's exciting, especially when I think about how it's new for him just like it's new to me.

Daddy Talk: My Son

After what happened Friday in Connecticut, I haven't really had much of anything else running through my mind. I look at my son and still can't imagine something like that happening to our little family.  It's brought up so many feelings, emotions and thoughts that I don't know if I will ever square them with what happened. I'm glad that I don't have to explain this to Milo right now. If he was old enough to ask questions about this, what is a reasonable response?

In memory:
Charlotte Bacon
Daniel Barden
Rachel Davino
Olivia Engel
Josephine Gay
Ana M. Marquez-Greene
Dylan Hockley
Dawn Hochsprung
Madeleine F. Hsu
Catherine V. Hubbard
Chase Kowalski
Nancy Lanza
Jesse Lewis
James Mattioli
Grace McDonnell
Anne Marie Murphy
Emilie Parker
Jack Pinto
Noah Pozner
Caroline Previdi
Jessica Rekos
Avielle Richman
Lauren Rousseau
Mary Sherlach
Victoria Soto
Benjamin Wheeler
Allison N. Wyatt

20 months

Dear Milo,

Another month has passed -- another month closer to your second birthday. Time really does fly when you're having fun. And you are so much fun. You think you can read and count already, saying "I, o, i, o" or "Nine, nine, nine" when you see letters or numbers. It's quite cute and makes me feel proud, even if you're not actually reading or counting. Your vocabulary seems to expand daily, and you often say things we didn't know you knew. The other day you said, "Penguin" -- to our surprise.

We spent Thanksgiving with your Great-Aunt Dianna. We took you to the zoo there on a breezy day. You enjoyed it but didn't want us to carry you, despite the rough ground and your lack of coordination that day. Some days you seem so sure-footed while other days you seem to fall over for no reason at all. That day at the zoo, you were Mr. Clumsy but acted like you thought you were a little mountain goat. You have more will than skill some days and that can make me really nervous. I do not want to make another trip to the ER.

We also went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo here at home for a stroller safari -- a behind-the-scenes adventure. We got up close and personal with the resident moose. We even got to feed him crackers. You were a little timid about the moose's mouth, and I can't blame you.

Look at that nose!

We're fast approaching your second Christmas. We took you to cut a tree. You were fascinated by the alpacas at the tree farm and wanted to play in the dirt. The trees, however, didn't really keep your attention. You tried to help Daddy hang lights, and the hand-made ornaments from your grandma drew your attention.

I feel like I have to mention the shooting in a Connecticut elementary school that happened earlier this week. A man walked into a school and killed many people. It was a senseless act perpetrated by a sick individual. I don't want to dwell on it, but I mention it because it makes me want to hold you close and never let you go. It also makes me realize that no matter what I do and how much I want to protect you, I can't always be there. I hope that nothing like this ever happens to us -- or that you ever have to be a witness to such evil. But that's all I can really do -- wish and hope for the best for you. Always.

I love you, little man. You make every day better.

Love, 
Mommy

Daddy Talk: Getting Beat Up

For the first time as an adult I tried to pick a fight. The guy threw his lip balm and hit me in the head while I was watching a movie, I calmly went to the parking lot of the movie theater to return it to him. Nothing happened and I'm glad it didn't, I guess. I probably would have gotten stabbed or something by his fat girlfriend.

So how do I spin that for the boy? Maybe that some people do deserve to get punched in the face when their fat girlfriends aren't around. That sounds almost sage like but not exactly the image I want to present to the boy. I think that he should not be afraid to confront somebody after he has been wronged especially when they are only willing to do so when your back is turned.

(For the record, we do plan to tell the boy he shouldn't start fights but we want him to defend himself if the situation arises. --Pam)

Daddy Talk: Pooping in the tub

Sometimes the easiest path is not the best path. The boy pooped in the tub while we were washing him after a messy lunch. The boy did what he normally does, except sans diaper. And it's not like we could do anything about it. Pam tried sitting him down on his potty because she could tell he was trying to go, but he was having nothing to do with it. I assume at some point it will occur. I would have really like to have a kid like Manny (from "Modern Family") who self potty trained. But that boy is fictional, and Milo is only 19 months old, I should expect a little poop in the tub -- especially if you undress him when he hasn't pooped yet.

In a way, I suppose I understand what he's doing and why he's doing it. It is what he knows. I think I poop in my own tub on a lot of occasions, so to speak. I have a tendency of picking the easier option rather than the path that offers some difficulty. I don't do a whole lot of risk/reward analysis. If it's hard, I avoid it. That seems to dictate a lot of where my life leads. I pay a lot of lip service to hard work, but it in the end I don't want to put the effort in. I thought that by this point in my life it would be easier to put the effort in. HaHa, get it?

Anyway I worry that I won't be able to instill a sense of hard work and dedication in Milo because I don't know how to do it. I was able to stick with school because somebody else was judging me. When I am by myself I can't motivate myself to keep things going.